The laptop is knackered. It all happened suddenly. The radio was on and Vanessa *eltz was standing in *or Jeremy Vine, she had just *inshed discussing the elderly being tazered by the police and it packed up by sticking and giving me a string of never-ending *s, **s.
Despite great e**ort on my part, prodding and poking, banging and shouting, e**ing and blinding I realised that it was *lippin gone *or good.
I did contemplate alternative options such as replacing the * with eph, ehph, ph or ph but that would have only served to add conphusion to the situation. I know the human brain is very adaptable but I certainly didn’t phancy phaphphing about trying to decipher cryptic phonetics even if other pholks enjoyed the challenge.
I wondered iph ‘iph’ looked better than i* or i* iph worked better, in the end I settled *or *.
I wondered i* I could substitute * *or the semaphore *or the letter * or maybe even use .._.. Oops, that does’t quite work at the end of a sentence does it.._..? I *igured that using might just be a bit to lambouyant. ancy, opening an email and inding elicitationsrom your best riend, using semaphore, using lags instead of *s lies in the ace o progress.
My *riend *rank suggested that I might try as his eyesight was *ailing and he *oolishly had signed up *or an online braille course *rom a .com in *inland. Little did he know that it was actually a *lipping *illipino called *elix *rom *rance *reelancing *or a *ake dot com trying to *leece *olk le*t, right and centre but apart *rom *rank, it seemed most people had seen through their scam.
Φ, now there’s a thought, the Greek symbol phi came *rom an idea put forward *rom my *riend *ulup in Athens but with the ever burgeoning problems over *inancial bailouts and *ailure to secure a *oolproo* plan made me think twice as their *uture in Europe is *ascinatingly **ickle given the depth of *eeling and *inancial *ailings.
I wondered if I could get around the problem by never using * again. I could boycott *, banish it once and *or all.
I lay in bed thinking about what my world would be like i* I never used * again. Could I cope? How would my li*e pan out?
*uck it, buy a new one.